How can a cat be alive and dead at the same time?

I love how science has rediscovered religion. Leaving aside the Big Bang theory of the origin of the universe, the universe itself is conscious. In the beginning was consciousness -- inner light. Then there was outer light, etc. Mind you it took billions of years, but what's that in divine reckoning? Religion was the first 'science', followed by astrology. Now both despised. How times have changed.

The scientific method, induction, deduction, math/physics, Darwin are all latecomers, though Darwin marks the beginning of the return to metaphysics. His theory was turned into a mindless, machine-like Nature, to be deconstructed, dissected (gruesomely for billions of guinea pigs), but a careful reading shows he was not so scientistic as the Darwinian Establishment that followed him. He admitted we'll never understand the peacock. Beauty.

Henri Bergson started from there and developed a more lively 'creative evolution' which was more or less politely ignored by science, though the Nobel committee awarded him the prize for literature in 1927, 'in recognition of his rich and vitalizing ideas and the brilliant skill with which they have been presented.' For a conscious being to exist is to change, to mature, i.e. to go on creating oneself endlessly. Realizing that, Bergson asked: Is it the same for existence in general? Nature is the epitome of creative change, leading to a dazzling, even outrageous variety and beauty.

Is beauty the end goal of a divine process that started with pure consciousness? We bemoan species extinction (rightly as we are here as stewards of Nature), but already 99% of species over time have gone extinct, replaced by others, better adapted to the changing environment (at least until humans starting wiping them out like a house on fire).

I'm okay with the idea of antimatter, dark matter, dark energy, quantum theory, being in two places at the same time, time slowing down the faster you go, everyone 'marching to their own tune', but I could never get a grip on multiverses, Schrodinger's cat being alive and dead at the same time. I'd given up until today, finishing The Mindight Library (2020) by Matt Haig.

Who was that? Oh, just someone I knew in another life

It starts with Nora's countdown to her decision to commit suicide. Everything she wanted or tried to do seemed to lead to failure and when she backed out of her marriage, was fired and then her cat died (outside in the rain by the road, retrieved and buried by Ash) and when no one answered her texts/ phone – all this in a dank flat in dreary Bedford, she swallowed sleeping pills and passed out. Nora enters a twilight zone, a library run by her highschool librarian Mrs Elm, a soulmate that had seen her through parental death and her own depressive state.

Mrs Elm gives her The Book of Regrets, Nora's own missed opportunities in life, roads not taken, and Nora begins her adventures, seeking out her one 'true' happy, successful life journey, which she can try out, as each missed opportunity represents an alternate universe in what science now insists is a multiverse, though no one really understands what that means.

Haig seems to, and puts meat on Schrodinger's bones. Nora wants a live where she took better care of Voltaire, her rescue kitty, so it would live longer. Suddenly she's lying in bed again, awake, calling for Volts, finally finding him under the bed, cold and dead. He's still dead! Not the life she wants, so she's spirited back to the library to try again.

Mrs Elm explains that Volts had a weak heart and no doubt knew its time was near, asked to go out and die alone in peace, i.e., it wasn't her fault. 'Some regrets,' the prim librarian tells Nora, 'are a load of bullshit. The only way to learn that is to live.' So one regret down, many to go. In another alt-life, Voltaire, aka Schrodinger's Cat, is still alive, a healthy Siamese.

The novel really just describes Nora's last minutes before death as an out-of-body event, a fact that is well-documented. There are many instances of people who have experienced a near- or after-death experience (NDE), an alternate reality, where they could choose to stay or return to the 'real' world (though that would be painful).

Coppola's Youth without Youth (1976) is based on Mircea Eliade's eponymous novel explaining time, consciousness, and the fantastic foundations of reality. Protagonist Dominic manages to live a few alternate realities after lightning gave him a new life. This is also a take on Neitzsche's eternal recurrence. I like Haig's variation on this theme because, well, consciousness is enough of a miracle for me.

So the original Voltaire is dead in one universe and alive in another. Nora standing up her fiance turns out to have been a very wise decision, as were all but one of her alt-lives, where she is happily married to Ash, but ...

You are the library card 

I won't ruin the plot for you, but I don't think it's a spoiler alert to say she felt each time it was like she had joined the movie halfway. And tbe prison wasn't the place, but the perspective. The bluebird of happiness is actually you-know-where. Most/ all of these alternate lives turned out to be what others thought Nora should do, not her 'root life', making her lose any sense of who she was.

I've been doing this sort of musing for a few years now, as i get closer to the end. I like the pro-activeness of The Book of Regrets. You work through each of your alternate universes in your mind, fantasizing happier alt-lives, realizing they wouldn't 'be me', that I wouldn't be who I am if, say, I had become a musician, or sportsman, or teacher. Probably no books written, no extreme travels, near deaths, polyglot/ polymath (even if half-assed).

I don't know if these alt-lives exist in some multiverse, with angels and djinn from them occasionally making a visit 'here', but like much of science, they are useful constructs to help explain the mystery of consciousness, the mind. You don't exist because of the library; this library exists because of you. This is just your brain translating something significant. I remember the sense of a new begining after a near-death experience. I wasn't in a library, but when I recovered, I had my blank library book to write in, and I'm slowly burning up my Book of Regrets. That's freedom.

In old age, you must learn to travel, have adventures in you mind. You are only limited by your imagination. You don't need booze or drugs like in your salad days.The real world experience is too much work and so often disappointing. Your time is short, precious.

Suicide comes a poor second. Nora thinks she wants to die, but you don't go to death. Death comes to you. You are the library card. So long as there are still books on the shelves, you are never trapped. Every book is a possible escape. That's what NDEs are all about. Coming back from one is like getting the only book left in your library, one with blank pages. Mrs Elm: That's the beauty, isn't it? You just never know how it ends.

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